Here goes my first ever TTC blog post! YIKES. The fact that I am writing this is both awesome to vent & SO SO scary, I thought I would have my BFP by now… Not just dreaming, wishing, praying and writing about the day it’ll show! But, I guess that’s life.
For “every drunk cheerleader” getting knocked up under the bleachers and appearing on MTVs 16 & preg. Then there’s us, married, financially stable, nursery-room-ready, and notta. WHY.
For a person who loves to be in control of just about everything, this has been a LONG & rocky road. Realizing, I have zero control. Period. Waking up every morning, BDing every single “fertile day” possible & praying for a miracle in my belly in my 2WW. Then month after month after month…. FAIL. But, I stay hopeful and trust that God will work a miracle.
To tell y’all a little about our journey, right now we’ve been trying for about a year & a half, and I’ve NEVER seen a BFP, ever. No miscarriages, No chemical pregnancies, No nothin’. Just negatives month after month after month. That day I finally DO see my BFP, I’m pretty sure I’ll scream, cry happy tears, then immediately faint for DH to find me blacked-out on the bathroom floor with BFP preg tests everywhereee.
After about 8 months of trying, I started researching OBGYNs specializing in fertility treatment. Since DH and I aren’t spring chickens anymore, I felt that it was time to seek out our very own fertility rescue squad! And, that we did.
Treatment Talk: I did 3 months taking clomid followed by a “trigger” shot in my belly of a drug called Ovidrell, to spark ovulation followed by an IUI usually the following day. After 3 consecutive FAILS after drugs and IUIs, I wanted a month off. So, we tried “naturally” for 1 month. Now, we’re back on the treatment-train this month!
My OB told us that 3 months on clomid is all we can do, and since it didn’t work then there’s no point in trying anymore clomid cycles. So, this month marked our first cycle on “injectables.” Which simply put… terrified me. And still does. I don’t know anyone more freaked out by needles then myself. A close runner-up though would be my DH. We are both VERY squeamish and HATE the sight of blood / needles. So, I was shakin’ in my boots when my OB said that I would be takin’ a belly-shot every damn day, once-per-day, for 10 freakin’ days. And it got worse. OB wanted me to “self-administer,” as in shoot myself in the stomach with a needle & inject myself with drugs for 10 days straight. There was no freakin’ way. I know I know, a lot of people do this… But, literally my biggest fear is, needles. So, this has been an insane journey for me, having to overcome a lot of fears, in a short amount of time… like on demand.
That’s all for now, don’t want to keep y’all and this to be super lengthy but, will continue soon in next post!
Peace Love & Baby Dust